Fighter II Famicom Hacks
A comparison guide for the various flavors of SF2 pirate carts, for people with
way too much invested in SF2
checked out Yoko Soft's initial outpouring and went over each aspect of
it in critical detail, probably much more than a shitty cash-grab HK
pirate cart deserves to be critiqued. The next entry in this series,
nay, the next evolution (if I may use such a term) in it's lineage, is
somehow both better and worse than the original. How is
that even possible? Can something be both crap yet stellar at the same
time? Can it fail miserably yet still improve itself? Can a Street
Fighter game really make me look at it and say, "What a fucking waste of
money and time?"
Street Fighter II: Pro
aka Street Blaster II:Pro
Decent into Hell
||So Cony aka Cony Soft birthed
this next reincarnation of the Street Fighter pirates in 1993,
and it's just the gift that keeps on giving. Similar to
syphilis. And just like syphilis this one will cause you to
completely lose your fucking mind the longer you have to endure
But first, some notes:
* Cony logo exactly like Sony logo
* Plane from the map screen the icon on title screen
* Character select screen has a snazzier map, but USSR spelled USSA (!),
India is also apparently Atlantis
* Character portraits tend to portray all fighters as having Down's
* Zangief now spelled "Zangiff" throughout the game
* New characters Ken, Blanka, Dhalsim, E Honda, each with respective
||I guess the "Pro" in the title
indicates the addition of the 4 additional World Warriors. Also
I guess "Street Blaster" indicates "please Capcom don't sue this is totally not anything to do with SF",
yet another version of the cart was produced with the regular "Street
Fighter" name, and nothing was changed but the title screen, so go
figure. Cony, who may very well be the same group as Yoko Soft, who may
very well be the same group as Hummer Team, unleash their updated entry
with the oh so subtle "Pro" moniker. Plus, if you notice they
actually spell it "Street Figiter II", which is a typo that
exists in further hacks.
Offhand I couldn't find a ROM with the "Street Fighter" title
screen, so I took a shot from my TV.
The bio screens may be accurate representations of the actual arcade
bios. Each character has a kinda sorta similar background like the
arcade version, along with win quotes and a continue countdown, but no
bosses or endings to be found in this version. Everything looks like an
improvement.... until you play it. Then you realize its even more
excruciatingly painful than Master Fighter II is.
||The CPU AI is a relentless, horrible beast that seems to know every
exploit available in the shitty hit detection. Moves don't hit when they
should, fireballs hit twice (!), you will be thrown in mid-animation
regardless of what you're doing, and you will generally be sodomized.
The only thing
frustrating than the shit hit detection and general gameplay mechanics
is the fact that the AI does it's best Terminator impression by not
stopping until you are absolutely dead.
Sound FX are sparse and minimal, the background music tries to emulate
one or two SF tunes then changes to a ear splitting medley of lousily
programmed music that I'm sure exists on other pirate games that have
nothing to do with Street Fighter.
||I've heard a lot of people complain about the unresponsive controls and
how it is nearly impossible to perform specials. At least Cony thought
ahead on this one, all specials are performed
by pressing B+A and a specific direction; for example Forward+B+A would
do one move while Back + B+A would perform another. All characters are
laid out like this, with the exception of any rapid press move (electric
shock, hundred hand slap, etc). While this doesn't really make a whole
lot of difference because the game will play just as bad, at least you
may be able to use those moves to spam the CPU into submission.
||I find it ironic that Cony had enough foresight to see that their game
engine played like pure ass and knew that it couldn't produce accurate
controls needed for standard special move inputs, so it was dumbed down
to it's most basic.
So at this point things get really crazy. Now we're going to start
combining the cash grab allure of a quick and dirty pirate original with
the outlandish representational claims of HK multicarts to form a
Voltron-like behemoth of complete unplayable crap that's painful to your
eyes, ears, and wallet.
Here's a picture of my cartridge.
Q: WHAT DO YOU GET IF EVEN SHITTIER PIRATE
PROGRAMMERS TRY TO MAKE MORE $$$$?
A: PREPARE FOR A COMPLETE STREET FIGHTER
RE-IMAGINING KNOWN AS "20 PEOPLES"
A: OR "STREET FIGHTER V TURBO 60 PEOPLES"
A: OR YOU GET A DEAD CARTRIDGE AND THE EBAY
SELLER NO HABLA ENGLISH AND USES BABELFISH TO SEND YOU EMAILS UNTIL THEY
BECOME COMPLETELY INDECIPHERABLE AND CRYPTIC TO THE POINT YOU SAY JUST
FUCK IT AND CUT YOUR LOSSES
A: THEN GO TO PART 3